User blog:Furnozilla/The Roast of GW
Alright alright alright...... Let's do this. Everyone has heard about it and everyone had read it (if you haven't, DON'T). It is perhaps the worst fanfiction of 2018 and it is guaranteed it will make you lose the small amount of faith you had left in you for this world. Gentlemen and gentlemen (because the only woman in these wikis is Lunar and she has never joined the Cringe wiki) I present to you..... GW'S VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT (God kill me now...) You know we are off to a good start just by looking at the website it's on. TUMBLR. The first thing you see when you enter this page is a uhhh..... collection of colors and lines? I wanted to call this "art"...... but it's not. It's the opposite of art. This collection of colors and lines shows us a young human male (or at least I think it's a human. His nose is really sharp and unrealistic, not even anime noses are like this!) and right behind him is a red anthro snake (yep, we are stepping into intense scaly territory here....) I'm doing ya'll a favor by not showing that image.... Anyway, for the story..... "Valentine’s Day Special Script – Gia (me) x Velvet" OH, well look at that! A self-insert! You all know where this is going..... So... Mr. Mary Sue wakes up in his bed with the snake girl above him (Yep, this already got weird...) The two say goodmorning to eachother. Later, they go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, they have a few meaningless interactions for some time that exist just to set up the mood and trick you into thinking this is a perfectly normal anthro snake x human love story..... Except no, because there's no way you can make something like that normal. They later watch a movie because it's Valentine's day and stuff happens, sanke girl falls asleep and Mr. Mary Sue watches the movie by himself while playing with her hair. I imagine you have noticed that so far the only thing I've been doing is giving you rough descriptions of what happened in this scenes, if not just a few words. This is for a reason. These scenes are so bare-bones and uninteresting that I'm getting the feeling GW spent 99% of the original ideas he had for the more... err "questionable" moments of this story and then just wrote generic "romantic" moments for everything else that you would find in your average romantic movie..... From here on.... thing will get weird, REALLY weird..... Read at your own risk. Velvet goes to take a shower and Gia goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth but Velvet asks him if he wants to join her, so he goes into the bathtub with her and begins massaging her. He then precedes to...... Uhhhhh........ (Please don't demote me....) "touch" her...... watermelons.....There....... I said it...... This continues for some time and they decide that touching eachother isn't enough, they want to do more than just touching.... They go to their bedroom and.... Well what are you expecting? They have sex. We are not 8 years old, hearing that word isn't something that will make us burst into stupid laughter. We all know that reproduction is necessary to maintain balance in the ecosystem.... and it's shit like this that make us forget this. BS like this ridicules the concept and makes it seem like this thing people do for entertainment and for the laughs. I want to touch on this more, but this isn't the place to rant about how today's society treats the concept of sex so I'll shut up now. Anyway, thoughout this ridiculous sex scene the time is stated and I was too lazy to count it, but I assure you, Velvet and Gia bang for over 2 hours straight...... At one point Velvet even calls Gia "big"..... So not only is this a self insert Mary Sue..... but he also has a **** the length of the Burj Khalifa...... Every day we stray further from Detton's light..... Anyway, this continues until after an eternity they decide to stop. And that's it. They just go to bed, they don't even bother to clean up...... What do I have to say about this? It's bad. Very bad. Throught my life I've searched the internet for the cringiest fanfictions on the world and I proudly say that this is the worst. It has everything, terrible writing, a mary sue protagonist, beastiality. It's utter garbage. Clearly the writer wrote this just to satisfy his own terrible sexual fantasies and nothing more. Disgusting. The only thing worse is that the writer shared this with minors.... that's literally a crime.... This wasn't a mistake, this was intentional. You can't just go and write a pornfiction and share it with minors and call it an accident. An accident is spilling a glass of water on the floor, it was unintentional. The writer was fully aware of what he was writing about and didn't think about the consequences. To summarise: This story is a perfect example of terrible fanfiction. Don't write shit like this. End of story. Category:Blog posts Category:Deviantart level fanfiction